Teacher and Student

Kids Are Quick
____________________________________
 TEACHER:   Maria, go to the map and find North America ..
MARIA:      Here it is.
TEACHER:  Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS:        Maria.
____________________________________
 
TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:         You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN:       K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER:  No, that's wrong
GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
________________________________ ____________

TEACHER:  Donald, what is the
 chemical formula for water?
DONALD:     H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER:  What are you talking about?
DONALD:     Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
 
TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have
ten years ago.
WINNIE:     Me!

_________________________________________
TEACHER:  Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:     Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________

TEACHER:    Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE:     I is..
TEACHER:    No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE:     All right.....  'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
_________________________________

TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,
but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish
him?
LOUIS:     Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________


TEACHER:  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:    No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

______________________________
 TEACHER:   Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. 

           Did you copy his?
CLYDE :    No, sir.  It's the same dog.

___________________________________
TEACHER:     Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when 

             people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:       A teacher  

Camni Ke Muka Korang Kat Ofis?

Bila boss panggil

 
Bila kene attend meeting

  

Bila boss suruh gi training

 

Bila time tea break

Bila nk dekat2 pukul 5ptg

 

Bila esok hari cuti

Bila dpt 'assignment' baru dr boss

 

Bila 'assignment' yg boss bg susah giler nk buat

 

Bila dpt tau adalah mustahil untuk siapkn 'assignment' boss

OT untuk 2 jam

 

OT untuk satu malam

 

Boss suruh kita buat OT waktu weekend

 

Bila dah terbuat silap

 

Bila berjaya 'perform' sikit jer

 

Bila gagal, kecewa nk mati

 

Bila org finance lambat byr claim staff

 

Bila dpt tau takder BONUS tahun nih

Jika Wanita diumpamakan Ikan

Jika Wanita diumpamakan Ikan, kategori ikan apakah yang jadi favorite anda?

IKAN SALMON
Bentuknya OK, indah, dagingnya pink muda dan enak dimakan.
Tapi sayangnya mahal, soalnya masih boleh diimport. Sesuai… ada nilai, ada kualiti….
INI WANITA BERKERJAYA.....



IKAN ARWANA
Kalo yang ini kalau di aquarium memperlihatkan kesombongan dan keangkuhan kerana tau tubuhnya indah, langkahnya lemah gemalai dan memancing mata.. nakal melihatnya di manapun dia bergaya.....
So pasti harganya mahal kalau ingin memilikinya....
INI PERAGAWATI, CELEBRITY or keatas........


IKAN MAS KOKI
ini jenis ikan lumayan mahal, indah bentuknya, warnanya, dan lenggak- lenggoknya.
Sayangnya hanya boleh dilihat, dikagumi, tak boleh dimakan, kerana termasuk kategori ikan hiasan.....
INI BINI ORANG.......



IKAN BANDARAYA
Jenis ini murah dan selalu menempel di kaca aquarium.
Kalo sudah menempel, susah sgt nk lepaskannya.... mcm gam...
INI AWEK ALIM, ANAK USTAD nii.......



IKAN KELI
Kalo yang ini harganya murah, bisa dimakan dimana saja.
Banyak dijual di tepi jalan, harus hati-hati
INI AWEK TEPI JALAN........




IKAN BILIS
Bentuk dan rasanya gitu- gituuu... saja.
Selalu sedap dimakan kalau tidak ada sayur atau tidak ada lauk yang lain....
INI BINI SENDIRI....

.

Job Interview in India

OFFICER----------------WHAT IS YOUR NAME ?

CANDIDATE-----------------M P. SIR

OFFICER----------------TELL ME PROPERLY

CANDIDATE---------------MOHAN PAL SIR

OFFICER--------------YOUR FATHER'S NAME ?

CANDIDATE----------------M P. SIR

OFFICER-------------WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?

CANDIDATE-------------MANMOHAN PAL SIR

OFFICER-------------YOUR NATIVE PLACE

CANDIDATE--------------M P. SIR

OFFICER------------IS IT MADHYA PRADESH ?

CANDIDATE-------------NO, MANI PAL SIR

OFFICER------------WHAT IS YOUR QUALIFICATION ?

CANDIDATE-------------M P. SIR

OFFICER------------(ANGRILY) WHAT IS IT ?

CANDIDATE------------ METRIC PASS

OFFICER-------------WHY DO YOU NEED A JOB ?

CANDIDATE------------M P. SIR

OFFICER------------AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?

CANDIDATE-------------MONEY PROBLEM SIR

OFFICER------------DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY

CANDIDATE-------------M P. SIR

OFFICER------------EXPLAIN YOURSELF CLEARLY

CANDIDATE----------MAGNANIMOUS PERSONALITY SIR

OFFICER-------------THIS DISCUSSION IS NOWHERE,
YOU MAY GO NOW

CANDIDATE---------- -M P. SIR

OFFICER----------------WHAT is it NOW

CANDIDATE-------------My Performance....?

OFFICER----------------M P!!!!

CANDIDATE------------WHAT IS THAT SIR

OFFICER--------------MENTAL PROBLEM